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Friday, July 29, 2005 

Harry Potter to get paroled monsters in reality for defense?

This is insane news, provided via The Therapist:
Washington—Acting upon what are being referred to as “extraordinary circumstances” surround the inadvertent pre-sale of JK Rowling’s fifth installment in the famed Harry Potter series, senate democrats are acting upon a combination of literary emergency and a perceived dearth of crime-fighting motivation.

“We have a two-fold plan to protect children,” said California senator Barbara Boxer. “One is ensure that any future Harry Potter book sales no longer require the intervention of any country’s Supreme Court to stop informational hemorrhaging, and two—to make sure we are not squandering our grief counselors on bombing victims, and maintaining them for any fallout emerging from the untimely death of a Potter character.”

Many children have been reportedly traumatized by the death of a pillar character in the latest book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, requiring therapy.

Boxer noted that, as many convicted sex offenders are already struggling to find mainstream employment, that many could be mandated to provide a “human shield” around what is being billed as a protracted and final sixth installment in the series.
I can't believe it. Boxer is proving herself to be a no-good senator, is that it?

Most importantly of all though...

WILL THE MADNESS NEVER END?

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