Tel-Chai Nation: Ex-Haredi woman committed suicide out of despair at not having custody of her children

A very sad result of the kind of negative attitude isolationist Haredi sects have against people who dare to leave their community:

Confusion and controversy marred the funeral of a mother of two said to have committed suicide after leaving her Hasidic community and being denied access to her children.

Friends and family of Deb Tambor, a former resident of the ultra-Orthodox community of New Square, in upstate New York, believe she killed herself on Friday, September 27 in the bedroom of the home she shared in Bridgeton, N.J. with her boyfriend, Abe Weiss. Like Tambor, Weiss is a former member of the Skver Hasidic sect, which founded and controls New Square, a village about 50 miles north of New York City.

The village is considered one of the most culturally isolated towns in America, with sex-segregated streets and female residents who, in obedience to the town’s rabbis, do not drive.

Despite their close relationships with Tambor, Weiss and some 40 former ultra-Orthodox friends of hers who quietly converged on New Square Sept. 29 to witness her funeral and pay tribute to one of their own were unable to do so. Members of the New Square community said that Tambor’s family chose to bury her elsewhere with only immediate family present due to the shame she had brought upon the family and the community. [...]

According to her friends, Tambor became depressed after leaving the New Square community four years ago and divorcing her husband. Weiss, her live-in boyfriend, said her family had disavowed her earlier, when she told family members that she had been sexually abused by a member of the tight-knit New Square community as a child and they denied it.

Driven by her depression, Tambor checked herself into a psychiatric hospital, said Weiss, which is when family members in New Square moved to block her from seeing her children, who are now 11 and 13.

“Her depression started when she decided to leave the community and was threatened with losing her kids,” Weiss told The Forward. “Her biggest issue was that no one cared for her, everyone blew off all her issues.”

Something tells me that includes even Reform, Conservative and even non-Haredi Orthodox. They sure aren't doing much to prove they believe in altruism. The Skver are clearly as bad as the Satmar and should be ashamed of themselves for their repulsive mistreatment of the lady, right down to how they've treated her own children. And to think, that they'd set up this kind of Islamic sharia-like situation right in the middle of an American district. Truly disgusting, and it shouldn't be taken lightly.

A writer for Tablet who went through this experience when the same kind of communities sought to deprive him of his children over even the most trivial concerns explains how they use legal maneuvers and political influence to ensure this. It's definitely atrocious that this should be happening in the USA, or in any civilized country for that matter. If Dov Hikind turns his back on these kind of crises, he too is at serious fault for pandering to the wrong crowds.

Labels: haredi corruption, misogyny, New York, United States

BS"D
Discussion with Moishe'la (with his family)
A Handicapped child
Tishrei 28 '5774(Oct 1 '13)

"We Cried and We Cried"

I want to tell you that Zaidy came to me again from Olam Ha’emes. (My Zaidy, a great Tzaddik, was very famous when he was alive.) I want to tell you that he sat down next to me when I was sleeping, and said to me, "Yingel Yingel my Zeesa Yingel (my beloved boy) I am so proud of you. I am so happy that you are in the house that you are, in the home that you are, and I Bentch you that you should continue bringing truth to our family and truth to the Yidden wherever they might be."

And then he said, "I have more to tell you. I am very worried about my adopted homeland the United States of America. I am not worried about the place itself, as we all know its pure Edom. I have always realized how this Golus of Edom has almost destroyed all Yiddishkeit in America.

"But no I am not worried about the Edomite country called the United States. I am worried about the Yidden in United States. First of all they are in very big physical danger and of course we know very well that the Yidden in America, including the Frum, are in great spiritual and physical danger. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but the very big majority of the Yidden in America are in very big spiritual danger.

"Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that the Yidden all over the world are in a better condition, but I am worried especially about the Yidden in the United States of America.

"I really want them to do Teshuva, real Teshuva. And I know that I have said this many times, and people don't understand what I am talking about. Even when you explain it so clearly, most people just brush it off because it's much more interesting to be busy with the Gashmius than to be busy with the Ruchnius. It take less spiritual and emotional effort to rise high in the attainment of the Gashmius, than it takes to rise high in the attainment of the Ruchnius.

"Since I was very young I realized that the American Jewish community would eventually disappear. Now however I see clearly that the United States of America is disappearing right in front of our eyes. Soon there will be no United States of America, and the Yidden will have to find themselves a new home. I hope they decide on Eretz Yisroel, and hope they do it quickly, because if not well……. "

Then he asked me to sit down with him and say Tikkun Chatzos. Together we Davened and we cried, and we cried, and we cried. I closed my eyes so I could feel the Tza'ar HaShechina, (the pain of Hashem) and when I opened them my Zaidy was gone.

Posted by Anonymous | 10/03/2013 10:11:00 AM