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Friday, October 06, 2017 

Even ex-Haredis can succumb to nasty behavior

The Forward reported about sexual misconduct among ex-Haredis:
Earlier this month, a woman who had broken with ultra-Orthodox Judaism welcomed another ex-Orthodox man into her home in New Jersey. The man had promised to advise her on managing divorce proceedings with young children. He claimed to have been through a similar ordeal, she said.

Instead of asking her about her upcoming trial, the man began trying to kiss the woman as soon as he entered her home. The woman, who did not want her name used for fear of reprisals from the man, told the Forward that she was afraid he might hurt her if she refused to have sex with him. She told him to use a condom, but says he eventually penetrated her anally without one.
Wow, if he was capable of that kind of repulsive practice, it can only make one wonder what it's like inside the community he left. Anal practice is utterly sick, and as far as I know, even risks potential illnesses.
Though the woman has met repeatedly with law enforcement to discuss her allegations and has given an official statement, no charges have been filed against the man she accuses of sexual assault. The man did not respond to multiple requests for comment; neither did the police.
And that's also a big mistake. After all, there are ways, legal or otherwise, to protect victims, and she's not doing the right thing to reject them.
The woman shared her story in Facebook groups frequented by the people in the “off the derech,” community, the community of people who have left ultra-Orthodox Judaism. Her posts led several other women to come forward accusing the same man of sexual assault and sexual misconduct.

Such allegations of sexual assault are hardly an isolated event in the OTD community. Women in that world are shocked to learn that the secular world can be just as dangerous and cruel as the repressive ultra-Orthodox societies they left. Multiple women spoken to for this article reported being preyed on by both secular and OTD men who take advantage of their vulnerability. They say that OTD men and women need sex education — from condoms to freely given consent — just as badly as they need English tutoring and résumé-writing classes.

“When you’re younger, before you have left, you idealize the secular world, and you think it will be better when you get out. And then you realize it’s not better. It’s worse,” said one woman, who claims she experienced multiple sexual assaults at the hands of ex-Orthodox men.

“We don’t know how to say no,” said the woman, who asked to remain anonymous. “And we don’t know what is right and wrong.”
Obviously, some of this reprehensible conduct is the result of horrible educational curriculum within the Haredi community itself. And it has the effect of tainting a lot of jerks even after they left the lifestyle, only making them just as bad as they could've been before.

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  • I'm Avi Green
  • From Jerusalem, Israel
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